I’m No Domestic Goddess

No one told me, while growing up, that aside from getting a stellar education and becoming a successful professional, that I needed to get the basics down for Home Economics 101. Mom would always say, “Study hard, make those grades and make a crap load of money so that you won’t have to depend on a man.” Well….fast forward a decade or so and imagine my surprise when I realized that the “hubster” was expecting the Latina Martha Stewart incarnate for a wife. Houston…. we have a problem!!

We both have full time jobs, work intense hours, I have personal projects I’m currently working on and you want me to figure out how to de-grease the oven? Yes, I see the dust bunnies under the bed taunting us but dude, is your hand broken? Dust Buster meet “Hubster”, “Hubster” meet Dust Buster. It’s called equal opportunity cleaner. The Pastor said till death do us part not till death does she clean! Now, don’t get me wrong. We have a beautiful home right on the lake, everything is neat and tidy within said home but ask me to get into those nooks and crannies on a daily basis??? Put on the brakes Mr. Man. You asked for an intelligent wife. Check. You asked for a kind hearted wife. Check. You asked for a faithful, loyal, giving, loving, affectionate, chic and sophisticated wife. Check, check! And you’re worried about the fact that I have yet to dispose of the science project sandwich, that YOU did not eat two weeks ago, from the refrigerator? Seriously? Surely you jest. Well, memo to hubster: you already have 95% of what you do want in a wife and the other 5%…. you will need to contract it out to Merry Maids. I tried being the Latina Martha Stewart. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt and went to the retreat. Didn’t work! I’m missing the domestic gene and I’m not losing sleep over it.

So look out dust bunnies because big daddy’s going to clean house!

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4 responses to “I’m No Domestic Goddess

  1. I think it’s hysterical! Really, very cute! I just hope to never see myself mentioned *unless it’s a good thing*. Who are you referring to in most of these posts??

  2. LOL this is the funniest thing I read this week! Has “hubster” read this article?

  3. OMG!!!! that was hysterical! And what’s funny is ..because I know you and “hubster” I am laughing even harder! If only your readers knew what a “Diva” you really are! Not to mention how beautiful AND spotless your house always is! Tell “hubster” to get to cleaning because I am coming to the resort soon!
    ((hugs))

  4. oh.my.god!
    you have me rolling!
    i ♥ you~

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