There is nothing more unattractive then watching a woman ‘go natural’. The implications are far too hideous to even contemplate. There are just some things that we should NEVER do. For instance:
1. Grow chin hairs. It’s not appealing for a woman to sport a Goatee
2. Have caterpillars for eyebrows. I understand that thick is in but Groucho Marxs? Nuh uh.
3. Wear a tank top when you know that your underarms are so hairy that a flock of seagulls think they have just spotted their new nest from the sky.
4. Sport a ‘stash’ across your upper lip as though you were a part of the Big Apple circus.
5. Grow hair on your legs so long that people will start confusing you for Big Foot.
The list goes on but I think you get the point. Ladies, please, let’s not be part of that club. You know, the “I need to go back to basics” club. That’s just a little too much reality. So with that thought in mind, I set my first appointment for a new salon that just opened up down the road from my home. I had just invested in a darling pair of Christian Louboutin’s and after a purchase like that, momma was a bit short on funds and I figured that if I can still get my basic needs met and do it on the cheap? Bonus!
WARNING: NEVER GET WAXED ON THE CHEAP! NEVER!! Let those hairs grow wild until you can get enough moola to go to a “Real” Spa salon. Not a Nail Salon. So, you can only imagine what happened next. After arriving for my 1:15 appointment, I was met at the door by Quan Lee. I should have known to go running for the hills when she said, “You here for a wax? You want to pick a color?” Color?? What is she talking about? I don’t want to get my nails done. I want to get a wax. Heaven help me, if she didn’t understand what I needed, I was afraid of what she’d try to wax and THAT sent a cold shiver down my spine.
An hour later, what should have been a simple wax felt like I had just undergone Dermabrasion on my legs and underarm. It was all I could do to maintain my dignity and keep a stiff upper lip when I left that place. Everything felt raw. I walked to my car like a mummy. My legs stung and my arms were pulled up as though I had wings and was about to pull a Kung Fu move on someone. I looked like I was about to take flight. And driving home was no party either. When I got home, ‘hubster’ took one look at me and he immediately knew what had happened. As I gingerly sat down, with my arms still in that flapping wings position, the ’hubster’ tried to keep a straight face. He quietly got up and walked to the kitchen. He said, “Cocktail?” and I said, sheepishly, “Shaken, not stirred, please”. After this experience, I guarantee you that I will have more sympathy for the gal who wants to go au natural. I personally wouldn’t do it, but I definitely understand.