Leave Your Sweater At Home

There is something to be said about living in paradise. Here, chances are high that you will wake up to beautiful blue skies and weather you can only dream about. It’s the reason why I decided, a few years back, to pack up my apartment in the big city and upgrade to my little piece of heaven in the tropics. If there is a beautiful day to be enjoyed, you can bet your Mojito that I will be out there with my cool beverage in hand, slathered up to the nth degree with sunscreen and armed with the latest chick lit. Preferably, this leisurely activity is taking place on my own pool deck instead of having to drive somewhere else with a huge satchel in tow.

Naturally, on days like these, I understand that I am not the only one who has the brilliant idea of basking in the sunshiny goodness and that I will most assuredly have noisy neighbors who will pepper my surroundings with their presence but what I am not expecting to see from my lounge chair is my neighbor out on his boat, without a shirt, sporting a human sweater on his back. Of all the wild creatures that I expect to see on the lake, my neighbor, with the neglected “manscape”, is not one of them. I know that we are all unique and special in our own way but gah! When did it become cool to grow a jungle on your chest? All thoughts of reading my book were put aside as I stared at this unsightly spectacle. Even the pooch stopped dead in his tracks as he tried to figure out whether he was looking at man or beast. hair-back1

Yes, I totally get that the definition of sexy is constantly evolving and I’m definitely not opposed to a few manly chest hairs (that is one of the things I love about the hubster) but when you look as though you’ve been over-fertilized and the weeds have taken over the garden, well, I say that an intervention may be in order Mr.

Men, I implore you, I am all for you being comfortable in your own skin but if we women have to keep up with our daily grooming rituals, I’m expecting that you also keep your end of the bargain by leaving the sweater at home and keeping the cave man look to a minimum. And for heaven sake, warn us before you decide to strut your stuff in public. I’d actually like to enjoy my days off in the sun without fear of another hairy sighting.

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4 responses to “Leave Your Sweater At Home

  1. Rocki Stoffer

    Okay, first off.. I have NEVER seen you out there on your pool deck. Do you even have a lounge chair? 🙂

    Second..I know it wasn’t my hubby out there b/c he’s practically hairless thank goodness!

    Now I want to know who the hairy neighbor is! 🙂

    I forgot to comment on the “tongue” post, but OMG! I would NOT eat tongue either! That is SO dang nasty!

  2. laugh out loud funny. and yes, i am very curious as to who said neighbor is…first initial please?!

  3. Ashley Misner

    HAHA this is too funny, but gross. I definately agree with you this is so unattractive.

  4. That is disgusting! Braid it or something! Wax that shit! Sorry for the foul language, but, um, that’s just not right!

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