Lounge Lizard


Of late, staying home after a long week of intense meetings and extended projects is absolutely wonderful. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with my girlfriend’s, because I absolutely do but at times, when we go out to a nice lounge, I don’t want to watch any of my girlfriend’s lose her sense of self when an “Alpha male” walks through the door. My mood takes a turn for the uncomfortable if there is any outlandish behavior being exhibited by one of the ladies. There is nothing that puts me off quicker than seeing one of the chica’s trolling for men. If you’re going man fishing, warn me so I can gracefully opt-out and stay home. I’m well aware that for some women it is less stressful to get your game on when your friends are around but to be honest, I feel that meeting someone should be more organic such as at a dinner or cocktail party or perhaps some sort of event where you’ve been invited. Call me crazy but peddling your goodies and hoo haws for the lounge lizards to assess is demoralizing. Women are powerful and exquisite creatures who have no need to be on display. Yet we forget our heads when a happy meal crosses our line of vision and all we can think about is if that tall drink of water has any refills. *Sigh*

Now, when I was single, I wasn’t opposed to the innocuous small talk from “Joe Smoothie“, while cruising the single circuit but I always felt a certain unease when I was being sized up by the opposite species as though they were the butcher and I were the lamb going up for slaughter. Ick! New York City is known for being an open buffet for the single set with an all you can eat menu (as far as dating goes and the plethora of choices) but what I’ve tried to impress upon a few of my gal pals is that if a man from the city has options, why would he settle for just one woman? City living can be a bit taxing if you are trying to rope a husband. I don’t want to generalize, and this is only MY opinion, but most men in the city want to play and be available for open call night. I know that there is a primal dance we must do when we first meet someone but of late, it just all seems too contrived and the joy of the unexpected is taken out of the equation.

All I am saying is that I would love to have some girlfriend time without some lounge lizard thinking he is going to get lucky that night with some hoo hoo action. Not with these ladies you’re not. So beat it. Scram. Move along lounge lizard. These seats are taken and no, we don’t care if you think you “know us from somewhere.” Puleeease.


15 responses to “Lounge Lizard

  1. I must say… I am happy to not have to worry about that anymore…the second you think you understand the game…the rules change.

  2. I digg your writing style: Well written, good thoughts, real… #FistBump

  3. LOVE your blog!

    I love how casual and in depth you can be at the same time.


    I have a bottle of Pinot Noir and strawberries waiting love!


    Dee (@CandidComments)

  4. I am so happy to be out of the game. Those big football player types full of hubris and machismo are still nice to look at, but they never learned and never will.

  5. I too am happy i am out of the game. I was never one of those anyways to chase the man though. I went to the bar, had a martini and looked FabU looking at all of te eye candy. And you are soo right about the Alpa men. Nice to look at but that’s about it!

  6. wordcreator

    Oh my did you happy meal!!!!
    Remember “the home of the whopper?”
    Let’s not go there sister. Temporary insanity is definitely not back in style.

  7. Aaah…my wait is over (temporarily anyway), you’ve blogged again.

    I can relate to the discomfort of watching a girlfriend’s head twist around and strange words come out of her as if she’s possessed, when a certain type of man comes paying her some attention. I feel like saying, “Hello, I’m still here.”

    Fortunately, it’s been some time since I’ve been put in that position. I’m not positive, but when I say, “Hello, I’m a pastor’s wife and a minister” it might put a little damper on the lounge lizardry vibe.

  8. Domi-Rican (Angie)

    Hey Girl,

    Who was the FLY that got caught by the LIZARD?

    Haven’t you heard of the LIZARD lounge game? Make sure you don’t fall for the trap, if you do you’re it. (The FLY) too bad she turned out to be the fly.

    Those of us that are married now have been the fly before, we got caught by the LIZARDS but we now call them husbands.

    BESITOS!!!! 🙂

  9. I smell hatred. If you’re in a relationship, and your girlfriends are single, why would you actively try to dissuade male suitors or jeopardize your friends’ chances of meeting men? Because you assume you know what’s best for them or you automatically know something about these men by sizing them up? Fail. You might be one of these people:


  10. josieinthecity

    Hi Brandon,

    Thank you for your feedback on Lounge Lizard. I appreciate your thoughts
    on it.

    After reading your feedback though I wanted you to know that the post
    ISN’T about hating the fact that some of my beautiful, wonderful
    girlfriend’s, who I dearly love, want to find someone special but IN the
    way they go about meeting someone and when they decide to do it, is the
    problem. There is definitely a time and place for meeting people and I’m
    ALL for that but if a girlfriend ONLY goes out with you (and I mean only)
    because she wants to hook up…..you have to start to wonder. Most of the
    women I know want to be in a committed relationship but sometimes, we as
    women, sabotage what we want. Checking our morals at the door as soon as
    we meet someone does not a relationship make but it may get us a one night
    stand, which is NOT what ANY of my girlfriends want (their words, not
    mine). Great girlfriends keep each other accountable and we are committed
    to each other’s happiness. You seem like a really decent guy who cared
    enough to set the record straight on your blog, thank you for enlightening
    us, but there are characters out there who are really crass about what
    they want and make no bones about telling a lady. Now THOSE are the
    lounge lizards I object too. I don’t make immediate assumptions about men.
    It becomes pretty obvious in the beginning whether they are going to be a
    yay or nay by their behavior and words.

    So, what makes me a great wing person is that I remind my girlfriends of
    their hearts desire. I remind them that there are plenty of people that
    just want a little “fun and tickle” for a moment but have no interest of
    doing a lifetime. I remind them that it is great to have a good time but
    if they are serious about finding a mate, they need to pay attention to
    the message they are putting out there.

    I’m sure that there are those who may read my post who may disagree with
    me but that is the name of the game. I value other peoples opinions and
    insights. That is what helps us, the writer, hone our craft – the love of
    the written word.

    Be well my brother!


  11. I commend your words to Brandon St. Randy! Such caustic comments are fortunate to receive your gracious and eloquent reply.

    On the topic of Lounge Lizard, I couldn’t agree more!

    Lots of Love…

  12. You’re such a classy specimen Ms. J! No doubt, that is not the case for all in and out of the game lol. Miss your voice, so good to hear it on here. I could hear you speak every.last.word. To include goodies and hoo haws! lol
    love you girl~

  13. Great article. We do have those nioght of just wanting to hang with the girls and get a drink – even us single ones – and going out sometimes is hard and when you have those guys around you – eck! And worse yet – when you have a girlfriend who just wants free drinks – GREAT! Now I have to deal with hime too…

    I enjoyed reading. TY!

  14. I read this forum since 2 weeks and now i have decided to register to share with you my ideas. 🙂

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