Glamming Up For the Gyno

Can we talk?  It’s that time again for my annual PAP exam (which every woman should have done) and with that comes my usual angst of that dreaded visit.  Not to say that my Gynecologist isn’t an absolute doll but the poking and prodding is no picnic. I’m not even getting dinner and a movie beforehand for Heaven’s sake.  But here is the truly ridiculous part… I prepare for my Gyno visit as though I were going on a date.  I totally glam IT up!  (And let’s be clear here, the only dates I go on are with The Husband.)  🙂

Yes, you are reading this correctly.  Listen, if I am going to have someone checking out my Hoo Ha, the least I can do is pretty it up, trim it down and make sure it’s fresh.  Yes! You may laugh it up now but I know many a woman who feels the way I do. They just don’t say it.  Let’s face it, the last thing you want is your Gyno, talking smack about you during a break, saying things like, “You should have seen that thing” and “I don’t want to even speak of the smell”.  Oh noooo!  I don’t plan to be THAT gal.  I know they are required to be professional when they are down under, on a scavenger hunt, but who knows what they are really thinking when it’s literally in their faces every day, all day.  Sorry for being so uncouth and graphic but let’s be real here.  Legs must be shaved, the toes must be properly manicured and in tip top smelling order and the female bits must be powder fresh. Forget about going natural. I’ll leave that to the birds and the bees, thank you very much.

At the end of the day, I don’t want to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back for my Doctor.  I don’t want MY Hoo Ha, in particular, to be the reason that my doctor resigns.  Do you?  A bit over-the-top and fussy of me, I’m sure, but it doesn’t make it any less true.  The female bits must be presentable during these visits.  Enough said.

 Have you made your annual PAP appointment yet? 😉

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