Category Archives: Relationships

{Happy V-Day Lovies…}

Source: google.com via Josieinthecity on Pinterest

What I love most about Valentine’s Day are all those fabulous sweet treats.  Yes. I admit it.  I’m a complete junky for the sweet stuff.  Heh!

Hope you’re V-Day was just as sweet….

xoxo

 

 

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{Magnificent Monday…}

Happy Monday sweet peas!  Hope your day is going deliciously well.  I, for one, am having an unbelievable day for a Monday. Who would have thought that this day would come baring gifts and goodies? Definitely not I darling.  I’m rarely surprised but when one of my besties sent me a few presents to the office today, just because, well…let’s just say I’m out of Kleenex tissues. What a blessing!

But as if that weren’t amazing enough, the pièce de résistance, my iPad FINALLY arrived today (after waiting a month and change for it). Yaaay! Let the iPad insanity begin.  LOL 

How about you love? Did you cave, as I did, and drink the iPad Kool-Aid?  Well, technically Mr. Husband purchased my new pretty, but that was AFTER I talked his ears off about how organized my life would be if I just had this new toy.  Heh!  I guess my method of persuasion really works.

 Enjoy your day beloved! I know I surely will.  xoxo

{Happiness is in the little things…}

Happy Tuesday my darlings! I hope you had a FANTASTIC day.  Forgive me for being completely lax in my blogging responsibilities. I need to find a good balance between my work and my passions. Getting to that point has been quite the challenge of late.  I need to keep reminding myself that all work and no play makes for a dull existence. Who wants that, right?  Thankfully I have wonderful friends who pull me from beneath the mound of paperwork on my desk and get me to smell the flowers…literally.  Ahhh! Happiness is in the little things in life.


These beautiful flowers were sent to me by one of my dearest friends today just because she wanted to bring a bit of joy into my stressful day.  Seeing these flowers on my desk brought an instant smile to my face. I’m truly blessed to be surrounded by such amazing people.

May you, dear readers, be blessed with friends as equally as wonderful.

Tasty Tuesday – Valentine’s Treat

Sure, you can always get an ordinary box of chocolates for your sweetness but what if you gave them one of these delightful gourmet treats?  Ay que rico!

Sources:  (1) Christopher Norman Chocolates ; (2) Dean & Deluca; (3) Savorique; (4) Liddabit Sweets;  (5) Lulu Cake Boutique (NYC)

A Tender Moment

Aww!! The Husband really knew how to pull at my heart strings this morning when he surprised me with my new house key.  He is definitely getting extra brownie points this month.  😉

My darlings, may your Monday be as sweet as mine!  xoxo 

Wordless Wednesday

Working Through the Grief

On December 30, 2009, my beloved Grandmother passed away at the age of 87. The pain, shock and deep and utter despair that I felt was like nothing else I had ever experienced. My life, as I knew it, had been irrevocably changed. Nothing else mattered to me in the weeks that followed her death and trying to climb out of the dark, hopeless abyss of my emotions has been an amazing struggle.

Understandably, the activities that had once given me such joy, like writing and creating, had taken a back seat to my all-consuming pain. Nothing made sense to me anymore and all I had left were these questions that loomed heavily on my heart and spirit. I had many regrets and a mountain of what if’s. I know that only time will heal my wounds and hopefully the vice-grip on my heart will lessen.

As the light slowly filters through my soul again, I gingerly make my way back into the land of the living. Social Media tools like Facebook and Twitter helped to mask my pain in the initial stages of this tragedy but it became pretty clear to me that participating in these forums, before I was emotionally ready, was creating more anxiety in me and would impede the healing process. It was imperative that I disconnect, regroup and renew.

After many agonizing weeks, I feel I can finally breath again. I’m not sure how, but life continues without missing a beat. No, life will never be the same again without my beautiful, loving Grammy. She was the Queen of our family. The Matriarch. And now, the world seems dim without her. But I know that as long as I keep remembering the good times that I had with her, as long as I can see her face in pictures and whisper her name, she will always be with me. She will always be my Grammy. Long live her memory!!! Long live the Queen!!!

I love you Mama!

False Advertising


I’m not sure what’s in the drinking water but of late a few of my GFs (girlfriends) have been burning up their phone minutes, discussing an age-old problem: The loss of their identities under the shadows of their boyfriends, partners or spouses.

“How did it ever get this bad”, they ask in shock? “How could things have turned out so terribly wrong”, they wonder? I am, by no means, a relationship expert or pretend to be but I suspect that what ails these relationships may have something to do with a bit of false advertising. In other words, he thought he was getting his dream gal but one day he woke up next to a complete stranger. The poor guy never knew what hit him.

At this juncture my GFs would vehemently deny that this is the problem. They would argue that I am truly soused but, seriously, there is no denying the gravity of the situation. Really ladies, let’s take a look at the sordid details, shall we? When you first met him, how did you describe yourself? You were all aflutter with glee. Loopy actually, that you had finally roped a man who was your intellectual equal, cultured, potty trained and completely civilized without a trace of caveman tendencies. Naturally, you were quick to pour the champagne because the race was on to make sure you kept your sweetness happy. You then, unwittingly, perpetuated the slow demise of this relationship by putting together a false image of who you really are. How you presented yourself to him may have looked something like this:

1. Behave like a woman who never has any plans except for the ones that involve him
2. Conveniently forget that you ever had any hobbies and start incorporating his
3. Take care of his EVERY need as though you were his mother
4. Pretend to be in heat at every hour of the day and act as though you have secrets that courtesans around the world would kill for
5. Morph into this super domestic goddess who bakes, cooks and cleans house in under 2.3 seconds flat (we all know that you cringe at the thought of being IN the kitchen and let’s not even discuss the fact that you quake at the very idea of having to deal with dust bunnies) and;
6. Quell any growing aspirations or dreams you’ve ever had so that you can fit nicely into his world.

Now, fast forward to a year later in which you now find yourself miserable and so does he. Why? Because you’ve smothered down the very essence of who you are as a person so that you can fit into some preconceived notion you think he has about what makes the perfect woman. In addition to that, he was never privy to the fact that you had certain aspirations and now, after all this time, you want to spread your wings and be free to explore your untapped well of creativity. The poor guy is left scratching his head, wondering what happened to his extremely devoted and attentive sweetie. He feels emotionally naked because you have now decided that the world no longer revolves around him. He is left feeling like your sidekick. So, what does that mean for this relationship? Well, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are headed for Splitsville. There are a myriad of resources that can help the two of you find your way. But here is a really great lesson for all the single ladies. Be candid and upfront about who you are and what you desire out of life. For your sake AND his! There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to take care of your partner but not at the extreme risk of losing your soul, and stepping on his, in the process.

Lounge Lizard

lounge-lizard

Of late, staying home after a long week of intense meetings and extended projects is absolutely wonderful. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with my girlfriend’s, because I absolutely do but at times, when we go out to a nice lounge, I don’t want to watch any of my girlfriend’s lose her sense of self when an “Alpha male” walks through the door. My mood takes a turn for the uncomfortable if there is any outlandish behavior being exhibited by one of the ladies. There is nothing that puts me off quicker than seeing one of the chica’s trolling for men. If you’re going man fishing, warn me so I can gracefully opt-out and stay home. I’m well aware that for some women it is less stressful to get your game on when your friends are around but to be honest, I feel that meeting someone should be more organic such as at a dinner or cocktail party or perhaps some sort of event where you’ve been invited. Call me crazy but peddling your goodies and hoo haws for the lounge lizards to assess is demoralizing. Women are powerful and exquisite creatures who have no need to be on display. Yet we forget our heads when a happy meal crosses our line of vision and all we can think about is if that tall drink of water has any refills. *Sigh*

Now, when I was single, I wasn’t opposed to the innocuous small talk from “Joe Smoothie“, while cruising the single circuit but I always felt a certain unease when I was being sized up by the opposite species as though they were the butcher and I were the lamb going up for slaughter. Ick! New York City is known for being an open buffet for the single set with an all you can eat menu (as far as dating goes and the plethora of choices) but what I’ve tried to impress upon a few of my gal pals is that if a man from the city has options, why would he settle for just one woman? City living can be a bit taxing if you are trying to rope a husband. I don’t want to generalize, and this is only MY opinion, but most men in the city want to play and be available for open call night. I know that there is a primal dance we must do when we first meet someone but of late, it just all seems too contrived and the joy of the unexpected is taken out of the equation.

All I am saying is that I would love to have some girlfriend time without some lounge lizard thinking he is going to get lucky that night with some hoo hoo action. Not with these ladies you’re not. So beat it. Scram. Move along lounge lizard. These seats are taken and no, we don’t care if you think you “know us from somewhere.” Puleeease.

Girl’s Night Out

cosmopolitan-martini3

Fabulous Friday’s always start with a bang when the clock strikes five, especially when it’s girl’s night out. I make a mad dash for my car and leave the doldrums of my office life behind, in a swirl of white dust. Plans have been set with the elegant eight and my car is put into high gear so that I can get home in time to refresh and de-ugly. Pity though that I waste half of my life pining away for the weekend’s but the truth of the matter is that I have yet to reach that special sweet spot where my work is pure pleasure and so….. until then, bring on the delightful bubbly and let’s shake that job right out of my hair (well, at least for the weekend anyway).

What to wear? What to wear? This is my dilemma EVERY Friday night. Hmm. Are we going for chic and elegant or cool and hip? Nothing in my closet screams “wear me” so on occasion I must place a quick call to one of the chica’s for their fashionista input. And to that end, I call Becca. Becca is a picture of pure fabulousness and her motto is “Why age gracefully when there is Botox?” She makes no bones about telling us what’s in or what’s definitely out and for the evening’s festivities, who better to call? I dial her number and she answers the phone as though she has just run a marathon or heaven knows what else she has been up to and to boot I can distinctly hear Disco music pounding in the background. “Becca‘s house of pleasure”, she answered. “Becca, you crazy woman, what are you doing and what is with the 70s tunes?”, I asked. She laughs that Betty Rubble laugh of hers and proceeds to tell me that she is feeling a little retro tonight and has decided to mark the occasion with some Disco classics and some Boogie Oogie Oogie. Now Becca is the kind of girlfriend that any woman would want as a friend. Not only is she a total renaissance woman but she is loyal to a fault and always sees her glass half full. With Becca, it’s hard to have a bad day.

I told her to get her quirky back side to my house pronto, that I was having a fashion crisis. She sighed dramatically and said she would be over as soon as she waxed, plucked, dyed and scrubbed. “But you just dyed your hair last week”, I groaned. And without missing a beat she matter-of-factly stated that it was not the hair on her head that she was dying and that she was going to dye it with a product called Betty something or other. I stared at my cell phone in disbelief. I brought the phone back to my ear and asked her if she had lost her mind? She laughed and hung up. A million things raced through my mind. How would her ‘hub’ react to this new – ahem – neon pink enhancement? Would he laugh as soon as Becca sashayed into the bedroom in her birthday suit or would he hit the MP3 for a little love groove? Now, I thought my ‘going out’ rituals were insane but Becca took it to a totally new level. Her antics never cease to amaze me.

Finally, Becca felt she would grace the public with her presence and showed up at my house as though the paparazzi were waiting for her arrival. When I opened the door, I shook my head in amusement, as she breezed by me in an aromatic haze of Chanel. “Chica, did you bathe in that perfume?” I asked. “Nonsense”, she said. “Don’t be silly. I just did a light spritz.” I looked at her, amazed that she is so blissfully unaware of how over the top she really is but perhaps that is one of the things I love so much about her; her carefree attitude, her joie de vivre, her fearlessness, and of course her fantastic ability to accessorize. I always know that she has the gift of throwing together the right outfits so I just humor her Royal Highness. Heh!

By 8:00 p.m., the eight of us meet at some new swanky lounge and restaurant. We decide to share a few apps and have lovely cocktails while we enjoy the sounds of a smooth jazz group. We talk, we share, and we complete each other’s sentences. We dissect every issue and celebrate every victory. As I look around our table, at each and every woman, I give thanks for the beauty that each one brings into my life. Girlfriend’s can enrich your life and every woman deserves a BFF. Friday night’s are great for dates with your significant other but when you need to decompress and exhale, pick up the hot line, send out the distress call because it’s time for a girl’s night out.