Tag Archives: Relationships

A Tender Moment

Aww!! The Husband really knew how to pull at my heart strings this morning when he surprised me with my new house key.  He is definitely getting extra brownie points this month.  😉

My darlings, may your Monday be as sweet as mine!  xoxo 

Gratuitous Sex and the City II

Let me go on record by saying that I was and continue to be a HUGE fan of Sex and the City.  No other series has managed to uplift and inspire me as much as the four amazing characters in it; Charlotte York, Samantha Jones, Carrie Bradshaw and Miranda Hobbes. Heavens, I have the DVDs of seasons 1 – 6 PLUS the last movie.  So, you can imagine how I felt when I heard that there would be a sequel to SATC: The movie. THRILLED!!! 

Recently, I went to see what I thought was going to be a F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S movie with a few close friends. The gals and I were planning to make SATC II a total event, with Champagne and all.  Needless to say, after watching it, we were a bit disappointed. Honestly, I felt that SATC II fell extremely short.  Although it had some really funny segments and it was reminiscent of the original series, the writers should have left well enough alone with the last movie.  The original series was tied beautifully with a bow when it ended and I had wonderful closure with SATC I.  SATC II was just a poor attempt at giving us additional insight as to what happened to the characters lives after the wedding.  Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing my gals up on screen but in my opinion the characters didn’t evolve much and they cheapened poor Samantha with gratuitous sex. Trust me, I’m far from being a prude but honestly, Samantha was made to look like a common, middle aged slut instead of the classy, albeit oversexed, renaissance gal I fondly remember from the series.  In this movie, she was a hot-flashing, trying too hard, dog in heat.  I hate how they portrayed her.  Her role in the movie made me want to take a scalding hot shower and take off the grime I felt after watching it.  Perhaps a bit strong but its how I felt.  And as for the rest of the characters…let’s just say that their story lines were flat.  I never thought I’d say this but a special note to the SATC writers…ENOUGH ALREADY!! Don’t ruin it!!

False Advertising


I’m not sure what’s in the drinking water but of late a few of my GFs (girlfriends) have been burning up their phone minutes, discussing an age-old problem: The loss of their identities under the shadows of their boyfriends, partners or spouses.

“How did it ever get this bad”, they ask in shock? “How could things have turned out so terribly wrong”, they wonder? I am, by no means, a relationship expert or pretend to be but I suspect that what ails these relationships may have something to do with a bit of false advertising. In other words, he thought he was getting his dream gal but one day he woke up next to a complete stranger. The poor guy never knew what hit him.

At this juncture my GFs would vehemently deny that this is the problem. They would argue that I am truly soused but, seriously, there is no denying the gravity of the situation. Really ladies, let’s take a look at the sordid details, shall we? When you first met him, how did you describe yourself? You were all aflutter with glee. Loopy actually, that you had finally roped a man who was your intellectual equal, cultured, potty trained and completely civilized without a trace of caveman tendencies. Naturally, you were quick to pour the champagne because the race was on to make sure you kept your sweetness happy. You then, unwittingly, perpetuated the slow demise of this relationship by putting together a false image of who you really are. How you presented yourself to him may have looked something like this:

1. Behave like a woman who never has any plans except for the ones that involve him
2. Conveniently forget that you ever had any hobbies and start incorporating his
3. Take care of his EVERY need as though you were his mother
4. Pretend to be in heat at every hour of the day and act as though you have secrets that courtesans around the world would kill for
5. Morph into this super domestic goddess who bakes, cooks and cleans house in under 2.3 seconds flat (we all know that you cringe at the thought of being IN the kitchen and let’s not even discuss the fact that you quake at the very idea of having to deal with dust bunnies) and;
6. Quell any growing aspirations or dreams you’ve ever had so that you can fit nicely into his world.

Now, fast forward to a year later in which you now find yourself miserable and so does he. Why? Because you’ve smothered down the very essence of who you are as a person so that you can fit into some preconceived notion you think he has about what makes the perfect woman. In addition to that, he was never privy to the fact that you had certain aspirations and now, after all this time, you want to spread your wings and be free to explore your untapped well of creativity. The poor guy is left scratching his head, wondering what happened to his extremely devoted and attentive sweetie. He feels emotionally naked because you have now decided that the world no longer revolves around him. He is left feeling like your sidekick. So, what does that mean for this relationship? Well, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are headed for Splitsville. There are a myriad of resources that can help the two of you find your way. But here is a really great lesson for all the single ladies. Be candid and upfront about who you are and what you desire out of life. For your sake AND his! There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to take care of your partner but not at the extreme risk of losing your soul, and stepping on his, in the process.

Lounge Lizard

lounge-lizard

Of late, staying home after a long week of intense meetings and extended projects is absolutely wonderful. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with my girlfriend’s, because I absolutely do but at times, when we go out to a nice lounge, I don’t want to watch any of my girlfriend’s lose her sense of self when an “Alpha male” walks through the door. My mood takes a turn for the uncomfortable if there is any outlandish behavior being exhibited by one of the ladies. There is nothing that puts me off quicker than seeing one of the chica’s trolling for men. If you’re going man fishing, warn me so I can gracefully opt-out and stay home. I’m well aware that for some women it is less stressful to get your game on when your friends are around but to be honest, I feel that meeting someone should be more organic such as at a dinner or cocktail party or perhaps some sort of event where you’ve been invited. Call me crazy but peddling your goodies and hoo haws for the lounge lizards to assess is demoralizing. Women are powerful and exquisite creatures who have no need to be on display. Yet we forget our heads when a happy meal crosses our line of vision and all we can think about is if that tall drink of water has any refills. *Sigh*

Now, when I was single, I wasn’t opposed to the innocuous small talk from “Joe Smoothie“, while cruising the single circuit but I always felt a certain unease when I was being sized up by the opposite species as though they were the butcher and I were the lamb going up for slaughter. Ick! New York City is known for being an open buffet for the single set with an all you can eat menu (as far as dating goes and the plethora of choices) but what I’ve tried to impress upon a few of my gal pals is that if a man from the city has options, why would he settle for just one woman? City living can be a bit taxing if you are trying to rope a husband. I don’t want to generalize, and this is only MY opinion, but most men in the city want to play and be available for open call night. I know that there is a primal dance we must do when we first meet someone but of late, it just all seems too contrived and the joy of the unexpected is taken out of the equation.

All I am saying is that I would love to have some girlfriend time without some lounge lizard thinking he is going to get lucky that night with some hoo hoo action. Not with these ladies you’re not. So beat it. Scram. Move along lounge lizard. These seats are taken and no, we don’t care if you think you “know us from somewhere.” Puleeease.

What Color Are His Flags?

Why is it that in our quest to find our prince, we settle for frogs? Worse yet, we marry those frogs believing that they will not give us warts and delude ourselves into thinking that they’ll miraculously manifest into the royalty we “know” that they can become. Pay attention dear ones, if you come across a frog, leave them in the smelly swamp you found them in. Welcome to reality ladies. They’re in that swamp for a reason. Don’t try to rehabilitate them into something you could live with. Life is too short without picking up human strays. You want to fix something, get yourself a hobby that doesn’t include human refurbishing.

large-frog2

Maybe your friend’s have given you advice and maybe you’ve taken that advice and put it in your circular file but for once, if you’re really interested in a healthy relationship, stop ignoring the red flags.

For instance:

• If they can’t make a firm commitment unless their mommy agrees? Red Flag
• If they constantly want to know where you are, with whom and give new meaning to the word “stalking”? Red Flag
• If they consistently check their manners at the door? Red Flag
• If their pet name for you is chunky monkey? Red Flag
• If they tell anyone who will listen, how much they just love your back fat? Red Flag

And the list goes on. Point is, of late, I’ve come across too many friends that are tolerating unacceptable behavior because they’re either afraid to be alone or they think they’ll never find anyone special. What a bunch of hooey! Ladies, let’s learn to read the warning signs BEFORE you decide to tie the knot. If it goes, “Ribbit”, run, don’t walk, out of that jungle.